This is a
post I have been wanting to write for a very long time. I want to
start with the definition of a few terms:
1. MASSAGE: therapeutic touch that is not about sex
2. CUDDLING: intimate touch that is not about sex (http://www.cuddleparty.com/)
3. ORGASMIC MEDITATION (OM): a wellness practice involving two people paying
attention to the sensations at the clitoris as one person strokes
it. It is sexual but it is not sex. It is goalless.
4. MAKEOUT: At OneTaste, the way we do anything is the way we do
everything and everything is an OM. Makeout is therefore a goalless practice
with agreed-upon boundaries. It spans the range from completely non-sexual
(e.g. caressing someone’s cheek) or it may be sexual
intercourse. (http://onetaste.us/code-of-conduct/)
(http://onetaste.us/making-out-tips-free/)
5. INTIMACY: an above average degree of flow-state between the mental
bodies of 2 people
6. LOVE: an above average degree of flow-state between the emotional
bodies of 2 people
7. SEX: Note that all of these definitions end with a question mark
because I don’t know what sex is (and would appreciate your input)
Definition 1: an above average degree of flow-state between the procreative
forces of 2 people?
Definition 2: Sex is the apparent division of the father-mother
substance of Mind into apparent opposites?
http://www.philosophy.org/the-sex-principle/
Definition 3: Any act intended to arouse the genitalia?
OK, now we get to the meat. What confuses me is that society and
conventional relationships put the bar for most forms of makeout much
lower than they would for an OM but the women in OneTaste are far more
selective about who they makeout with than who they OM with. For
instance if I walked up to
someone I had never seen before and said: “you have lovely hair, may I
stroke it” … she just might say yes and she certainly would not file
a sexual harrassment lawsuit. On the other hand if I walked up to
someone I had never seen before and said: “your ass is busting through
those jeans. Would you kindly butterfly your legs open so I can stroke
your pussy.”, she probably would say no and just might file
a sexual harrassment lawsuit.
Continuing, two people making out on a park bench might shock a few
people but not nearly as many people as a public act of OM.
The bottom line is: most forms of make out can occur in public and
would occur between 2 people much earlier than an OM would.
However, in our community, it is the reverse. I can walk up to people
and the very first thing I can say is: “Would you like to OM?” and I
would get a “yes” about 50-75% of the time. From experience, walking
up to people who I already know and asking for a makeout has about a
10% or less success rate. And all of those women would OM with me,
which basically means that most women place a higher premium on who
they will makeout with than who they will OM with. Why is this?
And I find that confusing because many forms of makeout dont require
the removal of clothes and arent even heavily sexual.
Closing this out, I would say that OM has taught me a great amount
about what a woman wants and how she wants it. There is a tremendous
amount of sensation and ecstasy in a woman from a very very light
touch. I can carry that understanding into the rest of her body and
approach makeout the same way.
But, putting this in the context of today’s Play Course, they are having
3 OMs in the play course. OM is not play for me. I put a lot of energy
and attention into my OM practice. Makeout would be playful. Cuddling
would be playful. Some of the exercises in the book “Slow Sex” would
be play. But not OM.
Finally, please note that the first 4 definitions are listed in the
order of willingness for a woman to take that, meaning, she would get
a massage or cuddle more readily than OM and should get an OM more
readily than a makeout.